When one piece falls into place...

another falls onto the floor. Then I think "Oh, look. I almost have the puzzle done!" No, not so much. I will get it all back on track!

Promises Broken

How many times can someone promise to do something and fail to do it? He isn't the same. Where is the man I fell in love with? I wish he was here because I really need him right now.

Does saying it mean that one listens to it?

I would have to say no. I don't think that he listens. How can I get him to understand that I want to be with him forever. Does he fully understand? Does he get it? I have no clue and I don't think that I ever will.

She came over and I tried to play nice. However, my skin was crawling. I really and honestly can't stand her in my house. He, of course, is obvilious about the whole thing. All I can say is she better back off. I am hoping she gets my subtle hints of bitchiness. I know that he loves me and would never go. However, everyone else has, so why not him?

Is the worst over?

I think that everything has settled between Zach and I. He has calmed down his "hobby", which is good. He is paying more attention to Bianca and I. Now if we can just get back to our schedule. Back to our routine. That is the hardest part. Our house is such a mess since Bianca was born. Moving and having a baby are two huge things and shouldn't be done at the same time. However, we don't work like that. We have to to everything at once.

The real question for me is: Do I want to marry this man? There are moments where nothing seems more logical. I love him. He loves me. We have Bianca together. Then there are moments where that is anything else but logical. He is immature. He is selffish. He is stubborn. Someone suggested to me that I make a list of pros and cons. However, the list for either side depends on the mood I am in. I want him in my life forever. I have kinda of done that with Bianca. However, I do want us to be together. But this time around I am going to do it right. I have been reading alot of articles on line about second marriages marrying first timers. It is interesting. Alot of second marriages fail more than the first time. That worries me. But then again, everything worries me. I guess I need to take it one day at a time.

Is the worst over or just beginning?

Witchy-Poo