Starting Over

I am not sure when it happened but it did. And trust me I am not upset about it. When I met Jason, I felt like I could be myself and not hid my true personality. People always talk about hearing bells or music when they meet the right person (okay maybe that is the movies saying that) but I felt home. I wasn't the only one. Buggy did too. She climbed right up in his lap and asked him to read with her. I wasn't worried about him meeting my family. I wasn't worried about hanging out with him in public. I felt like I had been with him forever.

Even now, I don't have the same sense with anyone else. With Ray, I was afraid that he would say or do something stupid. And trust me, he didn't disappoint. With Chris, he wouldn't say anything I would regret but he wasn't family material. With Robbie.......do I really need to go there?

But with Jason, I don't have to worry. And the best bonus of all, he loves me as much as I love him.

Okay, more sappiness at another date.

In With The New....

So I am trying something new, I am going to get up early and excerise. Okay that isn't new, but what is is that I am taking sometime early in the morning for myself. No little one, no pets, no anything. Just me. Seems the best time to get some me time. So I am going to be blogging my thoughts during this time. I find that it helps me set my mind straight. So you all get to read more and see that I am truly nutso and I can release all this fine energy.

So I hope you enjoy and learn something about me. I will enjoy writing the crazy thoughts in my head.

So this was the first of many....see you all tomorrow.

Stressed

So I am a little stressed. There is alot of things going on right now. With everything happening at once, it has been increasingly hard to get everything done. On top of making sure we see enough of Jo before she goes to basic, we have birthdays, moving, fixing the house, work, bills, and of course the wedding. It seems like nothing is getting done but I know that isn't true.

My depression, worry, and insomnia is increasing because of all of this. I have been trying to concentrate on one thing at a time but to no avail. I find my patience running more and more thin. This is not good. I have to go back to my old techniques of mediation to "be one with the universe". I hate stress.

No means No!

I will be the first to admit I am not that observant. I can be quite naive. But there comes a time, when I have to stand up for myself. So I will do this right now.

Ray...Stay away from me. I don't want to talk to you. I don't want anything to do with you. I know you are reading this because you can't stay away. So I am stating this for everyone to see. I don't want to have any communication from you again. LEAVE ME ALONE! It's over. It's done. Move on.

Epiphany

I know what I want. I know what I need. I know who I am. The problem is how to make it all a reality.

It comes to an end...

It's over. Officially and honestly. He has found someone new. I was hoping I would be the one that does it but he did it first. I am not surprised. Is it time for me to move on? We haven't been a couple for months but it none the less it hurt like hell. I will get over it. I will survive.

Home Sweet Home

So I moved into my new place. There is one less member of my family....the ex boyfriend. We aren't together and we can not live with each other because he is selfish and I am stubborn about rules. You know rules about partying, rules about not smoking near the baby, rules about your do has to go. BTW, those are my rules. I can deal with it anymore. So I am unpacking. I am doing the best I can as a single mom. It can be difficult but I am making it work. Okay off to the salt mines